


Moments

by mmg13



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 5x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmg13/pseuds/mmg13
Summary: All the things that Oliver and Felicity were thinking throughout 5x19 but never dared to say.





	Moments

**Author's Note:**

> Got this idea a few hours ago and am trying to write something with it.

**Oliver** \---------------

 

_Didn't she know what she was doing? What she was giving up?_

Oliver stood in his old apartment as she walked out the door. Towards the darkness. Away from him. He thought about calling her name or chasing after her faster then Barry could even run.

It took all the strength in the world to do, but he didn't. She wasn't his anymore. 

_God fucking dammit._

At that moment he realized he couldn't protect her anymore. And it was killing him.

Not from Helix. They'd already corrupted her judgement.

Not from Chase. He'd been in the wind for a week now. He knew about Oliver and Felicity's past together. He knew he'd come for her eventually but he didn't know when. And now she wasn't there. He couldn't see her. She was gone. She wasn't safe.

Not from himself. All of this can be traced back to him. If he had never walked into her office with his charming smile and shitty lies she would be living her life without the fear of not knowing whats around the corner. No danger. She wouldn't have to deal with all the lose. No grieving. No mourning. Nothing but happiness. A light that Oliver only dimmed with every encounter. She'd be ok. Living the normal life she deserved. 

_My fault. All my fault._

Oliver knew that at any instant he could be carrying her dead body in his arms wishing he could go back. Never get on that boat. Never learn how to survive. Never meet Felicity Smoak.

His hands started shaking at the thought. His whole world crashing down on him the moment he saw Chase with her glasses in his hands. He knew. He knew how much Oliver loved her. How Oliver still loved her. How if he were to rip away one thing from Oliver's life that would bring him to his knees, leave him broken beyond repair, it would be her. 

He didn't know how Adrian knew but even if there was the slightest chance of her getting hurt by him, Oliver would try his damn hardest to protect her.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, telling him Diggle was ready to meet up with him at A.R.G.U.S. 

Oliver thought about what the could happen in a few short hours but it only brought him more pain.

The burden of making life changing decisions. Self-sacrificing decisions. That was him. It was his job, his role. But never hers-dear god never hers. 

She had sold her soul to the demons so that Oliver wouldn't have too. Not anymore. And he wasn't ok with it. Not even close. She was innocent, so pure. He corrupted her. Not Helix. Not Chase. Him.

That was his last thought before he head out of the place that he used to call home. Home, not because he lived there, but the person he'd shared it with. All the pain, the struggles. The happiness she brought him. That was his home.

_My fault. All my fault._

 

 

 **Felicity** \--------------

 

Helix shut her out. They gave her what she needed, but they shut her out.

That's what Felicity was think about on the way back to the arrow cave. Somewhere she used to call home. It wouldn't be the same anymore.

She took the elevator down and entered the bunker where a brooding Oliver was nursing his drink in the corner. Speaking of things that would never be the same.

She hadn't felt bad about what she did with Helix. That was her choice, not his. 

But when she caught a glimpse of him she saw the sadness in his eyes. The same sad look she saw when she looked at herself in the mirror before she left for Helix that night.

The same look she's sure she had when Oliver walked into the bunker broken beyond belief after his stay with Chase. The same look she had when she gave him back the ring. The same look she had when she first saw Oliver after he joined the league. When he was doing whatever he had to to save his city. 

She wanted to and didn't want to take on that role. She would do whatever it took to put Chase away but she knew the toll that it was going to take on her. 

She'd seen it first hand for the past four years of her life. 

_How did I get here?_

She wanted to sit down. Re-trace her steps. From the moment she found him shot, bleeding in the back seat of her car to where she was now. 

She wanted to find the moment she decided to join Helix. The moment she felt so strongly about lifting this burden off of Oliver. The moment she felt the urge to save his soul at the cost of her own. The moment it ended with him. The moment it began. The moment she realized she was in love with Oliver Queen. And this moment, right now. Where they were so close yet so far apart. Where she realized she never stopped being in love with him. The moment she realized she never could.

She plugged the tracker into her computer.

She thought about going back. Not coming to work the day Oliver was shot. Never finding him dying in her backseat. Never feeling all the endless pain that came after. 

Never realizing the love of he life was right in front of her. Never living out the short months of bliss that he brought her. 

Never noticing how she would only ever be ok if he was smiling.

How much his smile meant to her.

How desperate she was to see it again.

It hadn't appeared in a long time.

So in the moment she thought of going back.

And realized that she wouldn't even if she had the chance.

Thats when her computer dinged.

And the blast blew them away.

Thats how in a few short seconds she realized how her heart felt when Oliver was torn away from her in the blast.

When she could feel her love for him. But not her legs. 

The feeling of being helpless. How no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get up to get to him. Make sure she was ok. That he wasn't hurt. 

But she couldn't.

So she whispered his name in desperation.

_"Oliver"_

 

**Oliver------------** _  
_

 

**"** _Felicity? Are...are you alright?"_

Oliver already knew the answer.

They had just been blown up. Again.

No way she was alright.

But thats when Oliver realized that no matter what happened next, no matter what they've already done in the past, he had always tried to protect her.

And there was no way in hell he was stopping now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you want me to do more things like this :)


End file.
